Weeks past by, and things really were getting better. My grades, despite my content with them being average, were increasing significantly. Periodically, Pastor Dennis would take me out for ice cream or food of some sort. Pastor Dennis assured me that he believed it would help me overcome inner struggles, having somebody to talk to and all. I definitely looked forward to those times.
One Saturday morning I woke up, quite pleased to be alive to be honest. I squeezed in two hours of extra sleep. This was going to be a great day!
I slipped on my slippers carefully, sighing as I retreated downstairs to my mom making breakfast.
“Morning mom,” I mumbled softly.
“Good morning sweetie,” she replied in her well-energized morning voice.
I smiled, feeling her enthusiasm. “What’s for breakfast today?” I peered over her shoulder.
“Pancakes and sausage.” She replied in harmony with my realization.
“Sounds good to me.” I was now cheerful. I picked up the morning paper and sat down with it at the table. I peered through the events, looking for anything interesting to read. I stopped on an article about a local band playing at the legion, interested. It said it was this coming Thursday at four o’clock. I mentally noted I wanted to go to that and moved the now scattered paper aside to make room for an incoming dish.
Mom plopped the glass dish down in front of me. I ate it right up, smiling and enjoying every bit of it. “Thanks mom.” I managed to blurt out before gulping down my orange juice.
That day I decided to call Jared and see if he wanted to hang out with me. We hadn’t been speaking in God knows how long, and this couldn’t go on for very much longer. I couldn’t stand the nitpicking and the awkward moments that were now becoming us. He was my best friend and we both didn’t deserve this.
We walked back and forth down a road from the park to the beach in our winter coats, chatting. He talked about his side of the story, assuring me that it was nothing personal. Somehow I wanted to believe him, but something in his expression made him suspicious. Then I told my side of the story, mentioning how much he had truly hurt me with his utter rejection and betrayal, by letting those two other girls on and leaving me out. I tried to mask the hurt, but couldn’t ignore the pain building up on the inside. My throat bubbled up and stung a little, like it does before you cry. Jared turned toward me, and I looked to the ground, biting my lip.
“Were you really that hurt?” He asked, sincerely. I nodded. Tears flowed down and I couldn’t help myself this time. He grabbed me and held me. I cried into his winter coat.
“Why are you so sensitive?” He asked, still hugging me. I laughed, the contents of my nose probably shooting all over the place. I still loved him.
“You can let go of me now.” I laughed, pulling myself out from his arms.
He put his arm around my shoulder still, and we walked back toward the park.
“I’m really sorry. It’s just...” he started.
I turned to him. “Just what?” I asked.
He sighed. “I hope you won’t get mad about this.”
I smirked, interested in what he had to say. “Really, what could be worse than being rejected by your best friend?”
“Well, here’s the thing, it’s not exactly about us. It’s about...” he drifted off again.
“Okay. Who?” I asked, confused.
“It’s Pastor Dennis, Becca. There are so many rumors going around. What’s going on between you two? Why does he keep taking you out to eat and talking to you all the time? He never does this. He doesn’t take girls out to eat alone. Don’t you think it’s weird he keeps doing this?”
I stared back at him, incredulously. “What are you talking about? You know my situation. He’s just trying to help me, Jared.”
“I sure hope so. I don’t like what he’s doing. It’s weird.” He looked pretty serious then.
“So what your saying is, you don’t trust him? What’s so suspicious about him?” I eyed him, doubtful.
“If he views you as such a broken person, why wouldn’t he just leave you alone and let you heal on your own? Why does he need to get involved so intimately?” The questions were rolling off his tongue like rain off a windshield with Rain-X.
“You seem more jealous than anything.” I scoffed.
“I’m not jealous. You need to get your head on straight, though. Pay more attention to what he’s doing. He wouldn’t even come to watch us at music practice the other night. He usually does. ‘Said he needed to take a youth out and couldn’t make it.” He was getting angrier now.
I was very surprised. “How did you know it was me, though?”
“It’s not hard to figure out. It’s not like he hides anything.” Jared responded.
“So what are you saying; you don’t trust him anymore?” My voice was rising.
“Honestly, no. I’m thinking of quitting worship team too because of it. I don’t want anything to happen. I advise you to let him know that you’re not coming anymore too.” He was confident now, and spoke as if he had been thinking about this more than once, and that this was his final decision.
I couldn’t believe it. “What? What are you talking about?”
“You said it. I’m your best friend. I’m supposed to watch out for you.” He was like stone.
“Whatever. I’m not listening to you. There’s nothing wrong.” I folded my arms over my chest, stubbornly. “I don’t know what you’re talking about.”
“Becca, if you don’t leave with me, I will make sure you don’t go. This is how I feel about this. I don’t think you get it.” He stopped walking when I stopped.
“Wow, are you mad?” I kept walking. I felt the anger pump through my body. He caught right up to me, quickly.
“I just don’t want anything to happen.” He said, more calmly now as we walked.
“I get it. I’ll let you know if anything does.” My voice was short.
We kept walking until we reached the park. We walked to the swings, brushing off the snow. We plopped down next to each other.
Jared was kind of quiet. Then he started changing the subject as best he could, but my anger was still boiling in me, growing more apparent with each pointless discussion, and my short replies. I felt very rude but I couldn’t help it.
Jared was silent again, and we swung aimlessly side to side on our swings, avoiding each other’s collision. Even though I was angry with him at the moment, it gradually drained. I knew deep down that there was some truth to what he was saying, but couldn’t put my finger on it. Jared was still my best friend either way, and I knew eventually there would be a total break between us if I didn’t listen to him. I didn’t want that to happen, either.
Jared drove me home and we listened to music on the radio. I looked out my window, enjoying the moment. It was sunset and the sky looked gorgeous. I wanted to take a picture, but didn’t have a camera with me.
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