Cheyanne 25-41

Ch.7
I ran onto the stage. My heart pounded fiercely against my chest. This was the first time ever I had been on live TV. The music was booming in the background. I opened my mouth to sing.
“Hey! Hey! You! You! I don’t like your girlfriend.” I started out at my attempt to cover Avril Lavigne’s song “Girlfriend“.
I tried to peer down into the crowd, as I continued singing. The lights on stage were so bright it was hard to see the audience. I could tell some where singing along. That was relieving.
I walked aimlessly around the stage, as I sung each word. My throat felt scratchy, and I felt like a mess. Some how I kept singing though, jumping around on stage enthusiastically. As if the less I thought about it the more the words just came out of my mouth.
I couldn’t tell if my voice was bad, or good. Right now I was just living in the moment. Not thinking about yesterday, or tomorrow.
I finished my song, and the crowd cheered widely. Maybe their cheers were out of pointlessness, or maybe not. Either way it felt good.
I ran off the stage sweating. My adrenaline was rushing. I was hyped up, and was defiantly ready to do this again soon.
A tall lady from across the room looked at me. It had been a while since my performance on stage. I was behind the stage cheering on the other contestants as strange as it may seem.
The lady walked towards me, I wasn’t exactly sure who she was.
“I’m Kristen Kelly.” The tall, lanky girl introduced herself. She had shoulder length, wavy black hair, and round brown eyes that stood out against her pale skin. Unlike most people in Hollywood Kristen paired her short purple, and black striped cotton dress with a pair of Converse.
“I’m Noelle.” I told her, all while guessing she had already known that.
“Yeah, well take this business card,” She said handing me a card with that read “Big J Recording Company” with numerous phone numbers on it.
“You want me to comer here?” I questioned her.
“Yeah,” She answered me sweetly, “Stop by tomorrow at two.” She added, then swiftly turned away before I could answer.
Was this a big deal? I thought to myself. I wandered to find Kate. She usually was babbling away on her cell phone. So much for her voice saving techniques.
When I finally found her I walked up showing her the business card. Kate’s blue eyes widened when she saw it.
“No way!” She exclaimed. Her wild orange hair had been curled into small ringlets, and she may have gotten a little too crazy with the red lip stick tonight.
“I know. I don’t believe they wanna see me.” I explained in a giddy tone.
“I know. I mean you were good tonight, but not that good. If anything I should be the one they want to see.” Kate said smirking, as her jealous side came out.
I frowned. It was sad that Kate was my only friend here. I don’t know if I can even consider her a friend.
I slipped the business card into the pocket of my black cargo pants, and decided I would celebrate by myself. It was ten. I could go to a restaurant, and indulge in ice cream.
“I’m going to Friendly’s .” I told Kate, sort of hoping she would invite herself along.
“Okay. I have some calls to make. See you around.” Kate said already punching numbers into her phone.
Ch.8

I was almost had finished my mint cookie crunch Sunday when in walked a guy I had never seen before. He had shaggy dark blonde hair, and big brown eyes. He was wearing a light blue Vans tee shirt, and dark washed jeans. Trying to wipe my mouth clean, and hide my empty large dish my heart picked up speed. I know it’s silly, but some people just give you butterflies. I put my head down, so when he walked by he wouldn’t notice my warm blushing cheeks. He sat down at the table across from me. Great, was the five letter word that formed in my head.
I decided to pull my head up, and get ready to leave. My day was going fantastic, and seeing some hot guy with his girlfriend join him wasn’t going to happen tonight.
“What ice cream would you suggest?” The guy asked as he turned towards me. I searched inside for words. I wasn’t good at talking to boys.
“Well, I got mint cookie crunch.” I was able to stutter out.
“Sounds pretty good. Hey you look kind of familiar.” He pointed out.
“Maybe you’ve seen me on TV.” I admitted bashfully. He probably was wondering how I could sing live on TV, then not even be able to form sentences with out taking a ten second pause.
“TV? Oh I was gonna say maybe I’d seen you around town or something.” He laughed out. His brown eyes widened, and he ran his hand through his dark blonde hair.
Did I sound conceited? I really hoped not.
“Oh, yeah I don’t think I’ve seen you before.” I told him, as I twisted my fingers around my long hair.
“Well, I’m Kyle.” He said introducing himself.
“Noelle.” I replied. Usually guys didn’t talk to me. I guess I wasn’t your typical pretty, sweet girl next door. I never wore make up, or messed with my hair. All the guys back in Wyoming seemed to not acknowledge my existence.
“So what were you saying about being on TV?” Tristan asked thoughtfully. I looked down at the table.
“Well, you know the show with the uh contest. America’s Next Rock Star?” I muttered.
“Oh yeah I’ve seen it. “ He said playing it cool.
I decided instead of making a fool of myself I would leave now. I stood up.
“Well, I better uh get going. See you around.”
“Wait, my friend is having a party tonight. You should stop by.” He said bravely. He reached into his pocket, and pulled out a folded up flyer. He held it out for me to take. As I took it I briskly touched his hand.
A smile spread across both of our faces.
“Thanks, I’ll check it out.” I replied grasping the green flyer in my hand.
“See you around.” He grinned, his brown eyes widening once again.
“See you tonight.” I said. I wasn’t exactly sure how I was getting to this party on the other side of L.A., but one way or another I was going to be going there.


Ch.9



I had decided on taking a bus to East Los Angles area. It was all the way on the other side of the city. I know my mom would absolutely kill me, but I was determined to go. I may have been breaking her promise, but I was young. I needed to experience life. As long as I’d been alive I haven’t lived a very exciting one.
The party was at a house. I wasn’t sure what exactly I was expecting, but when I arrived in the neighborhood I saw many rich ones. I was excited this would be my first “real” party ever. I was sick and tired of those kiddy birthday parties anyhow.
“Excuse me do you know where Greenwood St. is?” I asked the bus driver.
“Lucky for you it’s a block away. I suggest you get off at this bus stop.” He said, as the bus came to a stop.
I nodded, and jumped out. I had dressed to impress. Well at least I’d attempted to. I was wearing a short, black shimmery dress, with fishnets, and black rocker boots. Lets just say no one in my house would approve this outfit.
It was easy to tell which house the party was at. There must have been at least one hundred people, most likely more. The music was playing loudly.
This house was nice. It was a mansion, with a huge front yard. I wasn’t exactly sure how I would ever find Kyle.

* I skipped around to a later part in the story.

I stood stiffly looking around the room. The music blared loudly. So loud that my ears felt like they were going to bleed. Maybe because this music sucked.
“I love this song!” Cried Kyle. He approached me with a smirk.
“Me too!” I lied taking a sip of my martini. It was my third this night, and I still haven’t started to feel the least bit wasted.
Kyle defiantly was gone. He laughed wildly a he wailed his arms around attempting to dance. I searched for a place to sit. My shoes were starting to hurt my feet. They were four inch black leather Jimmy Choos. I ran my fingers through my over processed bleached hair, and sighed.
“What’s wrong baby?” Kyle asked in a sing song voice. I rolled my eyes. Did he really not know what was wrong?
“What do you think?” I asked in a sarcastic tone. There was a lot wrong. Lately I hadn’t felt like my self. I had gotten sucked into a redundant night to night party life that resulted in a hang over, and not being able to work.
Jason told me that he was suspending my contract if my partying had continued. Trust me I put up a fight.
“You don’t need them. Who cares?” Kyle replied. He had been trying to persuade me the last week to move with him to NYC. Sometimes I thought he didn’t even care about my career. He only cared about his stupid band. Kyle’s band wasn’t even that good in my ears. Maybe that’s why they played for druggies. Once you were high then the sounded kind of alright.
“I care.” I muttered. I had recorded a few songs, but other than that I’d totally been blowing off work. They had given me a contract that had paid a lot of money. Apparently I decided that I didn’t want to keep up with my side of the deal. My first, and best song recorded was rock. The other two that had taken quite some while were (I admit) corny pop tunes.
Pop was what’s in. I mean I had to compete with other artists. The world is too competitive to be different.
“Lets get out of here.” Kyle said. Then he added “ I have some “good stuff” back at my place.”
I nodded. By the term “good stuff” he meant drugs. Mostly pot. I followed out the doors of the club to his shiny silver Mercedes.
“Is this yours?” Kyle asked once inside the car as he picked up a demo CD.
“Yes, it’s “total crap”. I exclaimed referring to what Jason had called it.
Kyle raised his eyebrows, and slipped the CD into the CD player. I normally would of argued. I normally would of not wanted him to hear it, but right now I didn’t care.
“I saw you walking down the street and then our eyes meet. I knew you were the one. I knew we could have so much fun. I would do anything for you because baby I just really adore you.
“Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I want you with me all the time. Can you please be mine. I want you cuz’ your so fine. Do you feel the same way. Would you be there every single day. Can I believe all you tell me. Should I not trust those butterflies in my belly. I want. I want. I want. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.”
“Kyle!” I yelled after my song “I want” had finished the first chorus. A smile was on his face.
“Is this song about me?” he laughed.
“No! It’s about nobody.” I loudly answered. Maybe that was exactly the problem.
My alarm woke me with it’s same old annoying sound.
“Ugh.” I moaned loudly. I had a very wild night with Kyle, and I wasn’t sure I was ready for work. At least I woke up on time. That’s a start.
I pulled my hair into a pony tail. Threw a navy blue sweat shirt on, and some jeans and was ready.
“Noelle.” Kristy stated as she took one look at me after I had arrived at the studio. Her expression read “Did this really happen again?”. She seemed annoyed.
“What?” I asked defensively.
“You’ve changed so much. When you came here you were a sweet girl. Now you care more about parting than work.” She said sadly, while shaking her head.
“That’s not true!” I lied.
“You know Eliza has a lot of talent, and Jason actually thinks she has good work ethnics.” Kristy stated, which was true. Eliza was a talented, but at the same time a Britney Spears look a like.
“Screw Eliza!” I yelled. My head was killing me. All I wanted to do was crawl back under my warm covers.
“Come back when your sober, and ready for work!” Kristy yelled. She had just kicked me out. I squinted my eyes, and opened my mouth to let out an apology.
“Bye.” Kristy screamed, before I could say anything. I madly pulled open the door, and slammed it behind me.
Tears started to run down my cheeks. Was this Eliza chick really replacing me. Who the hell cares if she what all the guys want, and talented. She’s a stupid, no fun, slut.
I had better things to do than work with unappreciative fake loving jerks.
It was another loud night spent with Kyle. I defiantly was wasted a lot quicker this time.
I sat in the corner as Kyle tried pushing me to get a tattoo of his name.
“Well I dooo want onee.” I said slurring my words. I let out a few quick giggles.
“I’ll go with you, and I’ll get one of your name baby.” Kyle compromised.
‘My name isn’t baby!” I laughed hysterically, then proceeded to stand up. I wobbled a little bit, and swayed side to side losing my balance.
We arrived at the tattoo parlor about twenty five minutes later. After having to repeat myself five times the tattoo artist finally understood what I wanted.
“So you want Kyle’s name inside a heart, that is inside a flower?” He asked one more time.
“Duh!” I told him. Of course that’s exactly what I wanted. Thankfully since Kyle was friends with this guy I didn’t need to show proof of I.D.
The next morning I woke up very sober, with the ugliest tattoo ever on my left shoulder.
“Oh. God. Please tell me this is fake!” I ran to the kitchen sink. I turned on the faucet as quick as possible, and squirted a hand full of soap into my hand. I scrubbed with pure passion. The tattoo didn’t fade the least bit.
I plopped down on the ground crying out loud. I didn’t know the least bit why I would ever want Kyle’s name in cursive inside a big heart, that lay inside a even bigger flower. Not only could I never wear tank tops again, but the long petals would probably stick out when I wore t shirts.
“Why?” I asked myself repeatedly.
I tried to pull my self together after countess hours of sobbing about everything. It seemed like my problems were endless. Well maybe this tattoo was a good sign. It could possibly mean that Kyle, and I were going to have a long lasting relation ship. Then I realized I had an idea.
I could turn this huge mess into inspiration. A song about how I woke up with a tattoo of my boyfriends name, and how I believed that it meant we would last forever.
My cell phone started ringing. It startled me, and I jumped to realize I was being silly. I picked it up, and answered it.
“Hello,” I asked, not sure who it was. The number was private, and I wasn’t expecting any calls.
“Noelle, we need to talk.” Kyle muttered.
“We need to talk?” I asked him confused. Those four words always meant one thing. Break-ups. It was like the worse combination of words to hear from anyone actually.
“Meet me down at Shirley’s Café.” He said softly. Then I heard a beep. Kyle had hung up. This better be good news. There wasn’t any type of other news I was in the mood for!
Kyle clasped his hands together sitting across from me at the small table. We were at an outside table. I felt the heat radiate me, as I looked at him, waiting for what he needed to tell me.
“I know that you have unfinished business here. I also know that you don’t want to go with me to NYC.” Kyle started out.
“Yeah, both of those statements are completely true.” I reassured him.
“So, I think it would be best if we end it.” Kyle said quickly. It stung, like a band aid being ripped off my sore wound.
How could I have not seen this coming? Of course I wasn’t going to stay with him forever. Any guy that picks you up at Friendly’s is not going to last.
“Good!” I agreed. He wasn’t going to see a single tear come from me. I was going to hold all the tears in until he was gone.
“Also I sort of met this other girl.” Kyle admitted blushing.
What? Another girl? I was instantly filled with envy. Some one stole my very first boy friend. How dare they!
“Who?” I asked almost knocking over my water.
Kyle shook his head. “Your going to be mad at me.” He said.
“Well duh! I’m already mad at you!” I said grabbing my purse. I was ready to ditch him right this second.
“Eliza.” He stammered.
My eyes widened. First she stole my job! Now my boyfriend! The envy quickly turned into anger. I grabbed my glass of water, and dumped it on Kyle’s head.
“Don’t ever talk to me again!” I yelled storming off. The people around us stared at me. Good thing I wasn’t famous. That would have been a perfect scene for paparazzi.
I sat in the middle of the park strumming my guitar loudly for everyone around to here.
“I was the girl that got a tattoo of her boyfriend’s name. I was the girl who was insane! I was the girl who’s not good enough. I was the girl who wasn’t tough.” I sang not caring who heard me.
An amused looking guy approached me. He looked at me with a humorous smile. I looked down, and continued to sing.
“I hate Kyle. He never even really made me smile! He a stupid loser! And a drug abuser!”
“Sorry about your recent love drama.” The guy laughed. I stopped to look at him. He seemed to be around my age. He had spiky black hair, and a lip ring. He had on jeans, and a t-shirt.
I shrugged. I didn’t feel very social at the moment. Actually I wasn’t quite sure why I came to the park to let out my most inner feelings. I guess I needed some sunshine. Gloominess would only add more depression.
The guy smiled genuinely. “Well I think your pretty talented.” He said.
“No I’m not.” I disagreed. I stood up, lifting my acoustic guitar with me. I was going to call Kristy, and tell her I was ready to come back from my “little vacation”.
“Okay?” he laughed.
“I’ve got to go.” I told him, then started to walk away. I gasped, then turned around.
“Oh my god! You’re my first fan.” I said just realizing it.
“Sure, I guess you can say that.” He agreed.
“Thanks.” I smiled, and waved goodbye. I walked down the little brick path to a quieter area, and pulled out my cell phone. I hoped that everybody down at the record company would like my new song.

I paced back in forth my bedroom apartment. Needless to say Kristy wasn’t willing to forgive me just like that. My happiness had disappeared. Then I thought of just what to do. Maybe instead of making a song so anti-Kyle, I could make one ant-jerk boyfriend. Lyrics already started to form in my head.
I had ideas for anther song too. I could write about how I messed up. How I had fallen into the wrong crowd. Maybe Kristy, and Jason would appreciate that one more.
There wasn’t a sooner time to start then now. I endlessly scribbled my thoughts onto a piece of paper until my masterpiece was finished.
“I used to be the girl that sat all alone/ I didn’t have many friends and no one called me on the phone/
I stood up for myself and what was right/ now I’m starting to lose sight/
Of everything/ nothing is good anymore
Of who I am now I’m not so sure
Confused on which direction to take/ on which decision I should make
I guess I just need to let my wild mind take a break
Chorus: I’m slipping through the cracks on this wooden floor
I’m locked inside this room and can’t open up the door/
Lost inside somewhere I really still care
Deep down I know what you’ve done to me is fair
I want to turn around/ I want to be found/
but it’s so hard when it feels like I’ve already drown
V2: I’m sorry for everything that I put you through
You gave me the chance of a lifetime to show you what I could do
If I had one more chance I can change back
To the girl who I once was/ the girl who wasn’t whack
I can’t complain/ cuz’ it’s not like in much pain
Chorus”
I found just the right music to play along with my song, and decided that I was ready to go back to work for sure.
Kristy apologized for kicking me out. There was one problem still, Eliza had officially replaced me at the recording company. Sadly I hung up the phone. Tears started dripping down my cheeks. I had it all, and now It was gone. I’d officially had blown my chance at any success.
I ran on my bed, squeezed my pillow intensely and started to sob away. I’m not sure how much time I wasted lying on my bed crying. Maybe hours, or maybe days. Finally my eyes dried out, and that forced me to stop.
There wasn’t going to be a better time to start packing for home. I was through here in Los Angles. I called my mom, and told her I would be on the next flight. Slowly I packed my suitcase, and all my belongings. I throw away anything that had belonged to Kyle.
For some reason I wasn’t as sad to go home as I thought I would have been. I figured that I needed some time to spend with my family. I would catch up on everything back there, and maybe get a job. A real job that is. Not some fantasy Hollywood career.